Infinite Monkeys

An infinite number of monkeys attempted
to type a Shakesperean play. One lamented;

“Does anyone here at all know how hard
it is to write as good as the bard?
And what’s going to be the outcome if we
have to stop work for a minute to pee?
Supposing we need a breath of fresh air,
or something to eat or a comb for our hair;
perhaps we might want to lie down for a spell?
And is there a doctor if we’re not well?
Not one of us likes the look of this place,
even the typewriters are a disgrace.
How come there isn’t a pension plan here for us—
what happens if we must consult a thesaurus?
We’ve no earthly reason for singing hosannas,
we only get peanuts and have no bananas."
So infinite discord was instantly stirred
and so far they haven’t typed one single word.

© Jim Hayes

"Infinite Monkeys" previously appeared in Light Quarterly.