Interview with Scott Emmons

Folly interviewed Scott Emmons, author of Word Chowder, an online collection of light verse illustrated by Chris Harding. The collection includes several satires and parodies, including Lord of the Bored, a send-up of Lord of the Rings, sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things." Here's an excerpt:

Shire-folk and Dwarf-folk and Ent-folk and Orc-folk,
Stories that blatantly pander to dork-folk,
Gray-bearded wizards and wearisome kings,
That's what I hate about Lord of the Rings!

Folly: Word Chowder includes some excellent light verse, and the illustrations are delightful. What made you and Chris Harding decide to publish it online instead of taking the traditional print route?

Scott: Well, how many books of light verse do you see on the market these days? I wasn't crazy about the idea of writing a book-length collection and then being told there was no market for it. Publishing online was an easy way to get my work out and also to force myself to keep writing. Chris Harding is a friend and a brilliant artist whom I hired for much less than he was worth. Fortunately for me, he liked illustrating my stuff, so it wasn't about the money.

Folly: How long have you been writing light verse?

Scott: About twelve years now. Although I've always loved funny poems and songs, I didn't really start writing verse until I was in my thirties. It was exciting to discover a talent that I didn't know I had.

Folly: Your light verse clearly demonstrates a mastery of rhyme and meter. Does it come easily, or do you work hard at it? What do you feel rhyme and meter add to your poems?

Scott: It's very hard work to come up with anything I can really be proud of. I've gotten to where I can toss off fairly decent iambic couplets or ballad stanzas without much of a struggle. But I often like to work in more complicated forms with lots of internal rhyme and so on. That can be extremely difficult.

Rhyme and meter can be great tools for humor. Sometimes you can emphasize a punch line by combining it with a really satisfying end rhyme. Or you can get a laugh by throwing in a really bold or unexpected rhyme. Since the meter and rhyme scheme contribute so much to the voice of a piece, you can often play that voice off against the content. For example, you can describe trivial events in a verse form that sounds heroic, and there's an automatic irony built into the piece.

Folly: I googled you and learned you work for Hallmark. I love that! Do you ever get any flak about that, say, from fellow writers? What would you like to say to poets and critics whose Pavlovian response to the word "Hallmark" is a sneer?

Scott: I can understand where the sneer comes from, but I think it's misplaced. Hallmark verse isn't meant to be Poetry with a capital P. The Hallmark writer's job isn't to produce great literature, but to provide emotional messages for one consumer to send to another. It would be absurd to submit any of my Hallmark writing to a respected literary journal, but it would be equally absurd to submit anything from that journal to Hallmark. They're two different beasts. I can say without any shame whatsoever that I learned the craft of humorous verse writing at Hallmark. And some of the most talented writers I know are on our staff.

Folly: Most of your light verse is playful and frothy, but you have a dark side. A friend pointed me to "Millie's Prayer," and I was horrified to find myself laughing out loud at the ending. What is it, do you suppose, that makes that poem work?

Scott: Well, I'm glad you find it funny. Yes, my sense of humor has a dark side. I've always loved Edward Gorey, and I think you can see his influence in "Millie's Prayer." If that poem packs a special punch, I think it's because it throws a horrible truth in the reader's face. Bad things happen in life, and prayer won't make them stop happening. You can interpret that fact in a religious or a non-religious way, but the bald truth is that God often says no.

Folly: I see you have a Ph.D. in Classical Studies, and were once a college professor. That sounds so serious. How did you end up changing careers? Do you ever miss academia?

Scott: I got into Classical Studies mainly because I loved the Greek and Latin languages. I was frustrated as an academic, though, because I never had time for anything else. I wanted to do some writing and also spend some time with my family. I miss working intensively with the languages, but I don't miss the lifestyle.

Folly: You also play bluegrass fiddle. God, you're so cool, I hate you! That's not really a question, though, is it? Okay, where do you play, and do you have any CDs out?

Scott: Sorry, no CDs. I don't play professionally at all. I studied violin for many years as a kid. Now I dabble in both classical violin and bluegrass fiddle when I can find time. Occasionally I get together with some friends at work for a lunchtime jam session. Some of them play semi-professionally, but I'm just in it for fun.

Folly: In your Hallmark profile, you've listed "David Sedaris, New Yorker cartoonists, Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers, early MAD Magazine, Steven Wright, John Cleese, The Simpsons, and The Onion" as influences. How about poets?

Scott: I don't really consider myself a poet at all. I'm just a humor writer who happens to do his best work in verse. There are plenty of influences, though. I've already mentioned Edward Gorey, who wrote quite a bit of humorous verse. Dorothy Parker has inspired a few of my pieces. I grew up on Tom Lehrer and probably know every one of his songs by heart. I've also borrowed heavily from Newman Levy, a light verse writer from the '20s and '30s. The granddaddy of them all, though, is W.S. Gilbert. He had a rare gift for whimsy and an astonishing ear for language. I and others like me are dwarves standing on Gilbert's shoulders.

Folly: Our submission guidelines also reference "selected vintage issues of MAD Magazine." I grew up on old MADs, like "The Organization MAD" (of course the title's a play on the 1950's classic, "The Organization Man.") Your "Lord of the Bored" reads like the best MAD song parodies. When you say "early," how far back are you talking? Who are your favorite MAD writers?

Scott: MAD was great from its inception up through about the mid-seventies. I got to know the earliest material from the paperback collections, "Like MAD" and so on. I loved the poems and song parodies by Frank Jacobs, and I'm extremely flattered that you would compare my work to his.

Folly: Have you authored any print publications? Do you have any in the works?

Scott: I'm so glad you asked! I have two Hallmark gift books in print. Christmas Unwrapped came out about two years ago. It focuses on the little frustrations and annoyances of the holiday season. Get Your Gray On, a humorous look at aging, came out in May of this year. If you can't find it at a local Hallmark store, they should be able to order it. I'm currently working on a collection of narrative verse for which I hope to find a publisher.

Folly: Thank you, Scott.