The Secret to Being a Sensitive Guy

"Cut off your right testicle," she demanded.

Not to displease her,
I sliced it off with a kitchen knife
and cauterized the stump with an electric iron.

"Cut off your left testicle," she demanded.

I snipped it away
with a pair of garden shears
and stuck it in an olive jar.

"Good," she said.

Then she stripped naked,
stood in front of me, hungry as a piranha.

"Ravish me," she demanded.

"Let's play Scrabble," I said.

© Fred Longworth