If Karl Rove Were a Democrat

The guy looks just enough like Martin Sheen
that they'll forgive his barking like a mutt—
so here's the word—we're gonna go with Dean

and grab the West Wing vote. Not to demean
John Kerry's resume—a hero, but
he doesn't look enough like Martin Sheen.

Know what I mean? That Lincolnesque and lean
look's then and, Christ on ice, his jaw does jut;
I'm telling you that you will go with Dean,

but steal the Swift Boat story—quick and clean—
reshoot Apocalypse more Now, and cut
it so it seems that Dean's the stuff of Sheen

and Vietnam Vermont—just spray it Green.
Don't matter if his mind is shut—our nut-
case base will go along with Howard Dean

because each Wednesday night their little screen
will publicize the self-same strut and gut—
the guy looks just enough like Martin Sheen
that there's no reason not to go with Dean.

© Michael Cantor